You Can Dress Me Up, But....

Haut couture doesn't work for me.  The uniform of the day is denim bibbies.  Long bibbies and turtle-neck sweaters for winter, short bibbies and tank tops for summer.  On those few occasions a year when I get dressed up, I need a checklist.  Makeup?  Check.  Bra?  Check.  A few years back, I was invited to join friends at a Robert Burns Dinner (a gala, formal Scots affair) down in Jackson.  I did it up right!  New pantyhose, a real hairdo, full war paint, and a silky black pantsuit I hadn't worn for some time.  I left the truck with the valet and sashayed into the hotel...hot damn, I looked good!!  Glancing down as I found my way to the banquet room, I thought that I didn't remember those pants being so long.  A few steps further and I felt those pants swishing around my ankles.  Coming to a full stop, I realized I was in real danger of making more of an entrance than I'd planned.  I spent the evening clutching my failed waistband and waiting to make a graceful retreat.  Yup, you can dress me up, but don't take me anywhere!