Discouraged

Dis-cour-age:  to deprive of courage or confidence; dishearten; to hinder by inspiring by fear of consequences.  I spent yesterday in a blue funk, feeling that perhaps I was doing the wrong thing by staying here.  One of my primary concerns is always the care and safety of my herd, flock, and little coterie of house pets.  I am rarely-to-never afraid for myself here, and I hate the fear I've been feeling lately for the four- and little two-legged creatures under my protection.  I've felt I've always taken reasonable precautions, but things haven't been working out so well.  I hate being on high alert all the time, and being too late to save the kids.

All right, then.  It's obviously time to pull on my big-girl panties and do something about this situation.  I'm going out early this morning to mow down the neglected north orchard.  Perhaps if the coyotes have no cover, they'll think twice about coming so close.  As much as it calms my soul to see the free rangers scratching and clucking in the herb garden by the front door, or look up to find a chicken on the doorstep, peering in the screen door to say hi, I need to find a way to confine them to their pen.  Better confined than dead.  The orchard gets neglected because it's pretty difficult to mow.  The slopes are steep and the ubiquitous ground squirrels have undermined the soil, and the wheels of the mower drop into their unseen pits.  Steve, who actually liked participating in destruction derbies, considered Mr. Toad's Wild Ride a hoot, and Clay took it on in years to follow, laughing as he bounced up and down.  I must say I approach the job with more than a little trepidation, but I'm going to gird my loins and "get 'er done!"  I'll be darned if I'm going to be discouraged anymore.