It's A Hoax

Having time to think about things while milking, and having given it careful consideration, I have decided that a great hoax has been perpetrated by geologists, archaeologists, and a bunch of other -ologists.  They would have us believe that the Grand Canyon was created by the flow of the Colorado River.  Anyone with one eye could see that the water was following the tunnels dug by ground squirrels.  Carlsbad Cavern is a burrow dug by a large colony of ground squirrels and was taken over much later by bats.  Long ago, Egyptian ground squirrels dug burrows, and these convenient underground rooms were used by pharaohs as burial tombs, and the leftover dirt created the pyramids.  The traveling rocks in the desert were simply moved out of the way by ground squirrels.  Dinosaurs disappeared, not from the earth, but into the earth, falling into craters dug by ground squirrels.  The canals on Mars were dug by a species of now-extinct Martian ground squirrels, who had a better sense of direction than the locals.  I don't know why these industrious little creatures have not been given credit for their efforts throughout history, and I think it's time to set the record straight.