Alternate title: War And Peace (oops, that's already been taken).
Twenty-twenty, for me, was an emotional roller-coaster of 'Don't care' and 'Care too much.' Normal (there's that term again) life ended for me with Christmas twenty-nineteen, the last time my mainland family was all together, laughing and loving. We didn't know what was coming. How could we, how could anyone envision the disaster just over the horizon? Then the news started trickling in...a case or two of some new flu bug here and there, starting abroad and then coming to America. That's okay, we're strong, we can beat anything, always have. Not. Between the pandemic, the chaos in politics, and the clash of growing protests, I became obsessed with the news, watching in growing horror four and five hours a day, vacillating between tears and anger. It seemed the world was falling apart in front of my eyes. It wasn't healthy.
At the same time that I was emotionally distressed, I withdrew, separating myself from life here. Yes, I had the deck replaced because I had to, but the multitudinous flower pots moved are still in stacks or in the front yard. The house is a disaster, inside and out, because I just didn't care. What difference would it make? A little dust between friends is one thing, but no one has been in my house for a year and it shows.
There have been other times in my life that I've had to make a decision to either go down with the ship or make some drastic changes in my attitude...the only thing over which I have control. A month or two ago, I started limiting my TV time in general and the news particularly. Michael and I are spending more time outdoors. Helper Dude is coming next week to take care of long-neglected outdoor chores, and I'm getting a grip inside. Procrastination is one thing...not doing anything is another. (I still don't want to go to town.)
Saying Happy New Year is one thing, doing what I can to make it one is up to me. St. Francis's prayer is about the best I can do..."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Happy New Year, and I mean it.
Stay safe. Be well.
2 comments:
I think of it as lethargic
Why clean, no one visits....why cook when Amy’s frozen dinner taste ok, why get out when there is a book half done...and Kindle has so many more.
However, always the optimist , and with vaccine in sight, I will get out, become more proficient with cane, kick up my feet a bit( while holding on ) and think of sunshine.
Happy days
Happy New Year, Friend!
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