All Aboard!

The train of thought is ready to roll!  Some days are like that and all I can do is go along for the ride.

A long time ago, in some waiting room or other, I read a magazine article that asked the question, "What won't you give up?"  In times of economic crisis (personal or national), it seems there is always some small luxury we aren't willing to do without.  The answers given were things like Starbuck's coffee, chocolate-chip ice cream, or manicures; it was a women's magazine.  My mother may have dressed plainly, but her slips were frothy with lace.  For myself, I would gnaw on bark before I'd give up two-ply toilet paper.

There are divided camps when it comes to toilet paper.  There are those who bring the loose end over the top, and those who let it drop down behind, and never the twain shall meet.  Back in the day, public restrooms had regular rolls of toilet paper like the rest of us mortals instead of those tiny tissue squares or the more modern humongous rolls that, in a pinch, could be used as a spare tire on a small car.  Sammy Davis, Jr., had a "flap to the front" compulsion and, in an interview, said that whenever he was playing a gig at a particular hotel in Las Vegas, would go into every stall in the bathroom and change the roll to suit.  I understand.

There are also two separate groups involving the issue of mayonnaise versus Miracle Whip.  There is a subsection of mayo people, of which I am a member, who will only buy Best Foods (Hellmann's).  Either the Miracle Whip contingency is more tolerant or simply outnumbered because they seem to survive in a mayonnaise world, but the mayo people avoid Miracle Whip like vampires shun garlic.

Back to toilet paper.  I realize there is a need to cut corners here and there, but I had to laugh when I opened a new package of toilet paper recently.  It looked a little strange on the roller.  The empty cardboard tube was still in hand, so I measured.  The new roll was a full half-inch shorter in length than the old and the old tube fit completely inside the new.  To all intents and purposes, the tissue looks exactly the same and it certainly cost the same.  It does seem a bit of a cheat, but it was two ply!

Having made a full circle, the train has returned to the station.  Please watch your step as you leave.