The Right Tool

It is possible, but not advisable, to hammer a nail with the flat side of pliers.  A hammer is meant to hammer.  There is the matter of which hammer:  sledge, ball-peen, claw, etc.  It's best to choose the right tool for the job.  A fork can be used to beat an egg, but a whisk works better.  I missed a perfect score on a welding test by one.  The instructor had asked, "Can you light a cigarette with a welding torch?"  I answered yes; I'd seen every welder I knew do it.  I objected to the grade and calmly and rationally explained to the instructor that had he used the word "should" instead of "can," I would have, of course, given him the answer he wanted, which was no.  A welding torch is not the best tool for lighting a smoke.  The teacher was not interested in semantics and I was stuck with a less than perfect score (but I maintain I was right).

Now, in the case of goat poop, trial and error have taught me the best tools to clean the barn.  Goat poop is similar in size and color to olive pits.  (Sheep poop is much the same and looks like pits from jumbo olives.)  Someone devised a special tool for scooping horse poop which is called road apples for a reason.  I have no idea, other than a water hose, what dairy farmers use to clean up cow plops.  No one, as far as I know, has perfected a tool specifically for goat poop.  My barn has a dirt floor (in dry weather, that is; in winter it has a mud floor and calls for a different approach to the problem).  Goats are prodigious poopers.  Every morning there are thousands of pellets.  The best tools to clean the barn are a plastic leaf rake and a flat-blade shovel.  A cheap plastic rake works better than a rake with metal tines for this job.  All the little rolypolies are raked into a pile, avoiding raising a cloud of dust, and then scooped with the shovel into a bucket to be removed.  I generally haul two buckets of a morning out to the growing mound of manure; that's a two-gallon paint bucket times two.

Every time Bessie walks outside, she brings back into the house a collection of stickers, leaves, etc. (I won't address the et cetera), and deposits it onto the carpet.  Pearl does her bit, but isn't as conscientious as Bess.  Some time back, I purchased an old-fashioned carpet sweeper, thinking to use it as needed during a power outage.  It doesn't replace the vacuum cleaner, but it is fast and light, terrific for a quick once over to pick up the stuff Bessie Anne brings in.  In fact, I'm becoming almost obsessive about keeping the carpet swept.  The carpet sweeper is the perfect tool for a daily swipe.

I most sincerely hope that no one develops an easy-dust tool.  My reputation would be ruined.