You Never Know

You never know when that goodnight belly rub will be the last, or that it will be the last time you brush that soft fur.  You never know when an event will occur that puts your belief to the test.  Sometimes you get fair warning and have a chance to prepare and to appreciate "the last time," but most times are just slapped in your face and you are left wishing you could say "Love you" one last time.

It is not unusual for Frank and/or Pearl to stay out all night.  Every night before bedtime, I turn on the porch light, their visual clue, and call their names and "Kitty, kitty, kitty," in that high voice one tends to use with cats.  Most nights they either run in or straggle in like children not ready to be sent to bed, and sometimes Bessie and I stand at the door and wait, finally giving up and turning out the light and going on down the hall, leaving the cats to do cat business in the dark.  After a night on the hunt, they inevitably come to look in the window as I work at the computer in the dark of morning and say, "For Pete's sake, will you open the door?  I'm ready for breakfast!" 

Frank did not come to the window yesterday morning.  He did not come to the deck as Bess, Pearl and I did our walkabout.  He did not come as I called his name time after time and hunted high and low for him all day long.  He did not come back, and he will not come back again.

Not too long ago I said I understand and respect nature, but that doesn't mean I always like it.  Not knowing is terrible, but I assume that Frank was taken by one of the great horned owls that work the neighborhood, or perhaps one of the beasties got him.  I had a false sense of security knowing that there were trees to climb up in and barns to hide under and that cats can be faster than greased lightning.  I wish beyond wishing that cats were not an item on the food chain, but if I believe it, then I have to accept it.  But I don't have to like it.

Frank was my talker, my lover boy, my lap cat, Bessie's best friend, Pearl's brother.  Our lives were enriched by his company and he left a huge hole in our hearts.  I wish I could have said goodbye.  You just never know.