In My Dreams

First things first so no one has to wait for the news:  Pete came through his surgery and is on the road to recovery.

I wrote yesterday about staying grounded.  I wrote with such assurance that I even fooled myself.  Oh, being with the animals was calming, but I couldn't stay with the animals all day, and it was a long, long day.  Trying to hold on to the positive, the mind will still go to dark places.  I don't know how it was for Pete, but his whole life flashed before my eyes.  It did help to know that a panoply of well-wishers were sending good thoughts for my son.  Catholics, Mormons, Lutherans, Jews, unnamed Christian groups, Buddhists, and a couple of agnostics were as one in their intent.  I've said before that time is elastic, expanding and contracting as dictated by circumstances.  We were given an estimated time frame for the surgery and the clock ticked ever so slowly toward that hour.  I will swear it took fifteen minutes for every single jump of the hands.  That hour came and went, slowly.  It was during the next hour and a half that panic set in.  Had it not been raining, I might have gone back down to the barn for the comfort of the animals.  Finally the texts started flowing and we knew the operation was over and Pete was in CCU.  And now we wait again.  Stay calm on a day like yesterday?  In my dreams.