What Next?

Bess Anne is determined to have a neurosis and is trying out new ones all the time to see which one she likes best and which one works.  For a period of time, she would not step foot in the kitchen (she still won't come into the bathroom).  I refused to move her food dish, but did shift it to a place where she only had to come a few steps in.  When she was again comfortable coming into the room, Bess decided she would not go out to the deck via the round room doors.  I had to let her out through the doors in the dining room.  She's over that now because I finally told her, "It's either this door when I go out this way or you stay inside."  She nearly drove me over the edge when she was having panic attacks and had to be in my lap at all times, forcing her way up onto the chair, pushing Celeste (and Ralph on his rare appearances) out of the way.  I felt sorry for her and was guilty of indulging her and reinforcing that behavior.  I still let my girl join me, but only when I choose to allow it.  Okay, since none of that was working, Bess moved on.  She will ask to be let out.  I open the door (doesn't matter which door).  She stands and looks at me.  "You said you wanted out.  Are you going to go out or not?"  She looks at me.  I shut the door.  She stands there.  I open the door.  She looks at me.  Only when and if I take one or two steps out too will she come outside.  It's okay if I then step back into the house; she goes on about her business.  I don't mind this quirk so much as I'm usually ready to go outside anyhow.  It doesn't seem to help her OCD, however, and last night Bessie began recycling the "I must be in your lap now!" behavior, standing with her nose on the edge of the chair, staring at me with her big brown eyes, and whining piteously, or circling from place to place like a creature demented and crying.  It is very difficult to refuse, but it is not good for her and it certainly isn't good for me.  Lest I seem hardhearted, Bessie Anne is always with me and gets lots of attention and positive reinforcement for her normally good behavior.  A night does not go by without her customary back rub, and we sleep nose to nose.

One learns while raising children never to ask, "What next?," because there is always a "next" on the horizon.  I am trying to be as patient with Bess as I hope others will be with me when my time comes and my screws get loose.