Wednesday, August 18, 2010

It's A Hoax

Having time to think about things while milking, and having given it careful consideration, I have decided that a great hoax has been perpetrated by geologists, archaeologists, and a bunch of other -ologists.  They would have us believe that the Grand Canyon was created by the flow of the Colorado River.  Anyone with one eye could see that the water was following the tunnels dug by ground squirrels.  Carlsbad Cavern is a burrow dug by a large colony of ground squirrels and was taken over much later by bats.  Long ago, Egyptian ground squirrels dug burrows, and these convenient underground rooms were used by pharaohs as burial tombs, and the leftover dirt created the pyramids.  The traveling rocks in the desert were simply moved out of the way by ground squirrels.  Dinosaurs disappeared, not from the earth, but into the earth, falling into craters dug by ground squirrels.  The canals on Mars were dug by a species of now-extinct Martian ground squirrels, who had a better sense of direction than the locals.  I don't know why these industrious little creatures have not been given credit for their efforts throughout history, and I think it's time to set the record straight. 

1 comment:

Kathryn said...

Now THAT'S funny - not the column, but the fact that I was going to start out my comment by saying, "Hmmmm, you have TOO MUCH TIME on your hands," and I looked down at your label, and voila - we had the same thoughts. So...does that mean that you are now limping from having stepped in an entrance hole to one of the many tunnels at Farview? Just think - and excavator could remove the top layer of your entire place and discover a whole other world there. I'm told there is a whole other world beneath Disneyland - a whole working suppose he just hired the furry pancakes to do his tunneling? "5000 ground squirrels needed...all the nuts you can eat!"