Thomas Paine must have had me in mind when he said, "These are the times that try men's souls." Trust me, I knew what would happen, and it happened. There was a very good reason why I put off doing taxes. It was a postponement of insanity. No matter how much I prep and even without Ralph's help, I become a lunatic, a raving maniac, when I finally bite the bullet and settle down to actually do the deed. My long-time CPA sends me an easy-to-understand packet, simplified like "Tax Prep For Dummies." That is not the problem.
The problem is that I fall into The Twilight Zone each and every year. It began yesterday with the calculator. Where did I put the calculator? Math is not my forte and a calculator is imperative for anything past two-plus-two. Not in the desk, not by my chair. I know because I checked those places several, make that "many," times. Perhaps I'd left it in the bin I took to the farm sales at Tim's. Where is the bin? Not in the workroom, not in the feed barn, not in either of the sheds. I know because I made umpteen trips to check, Bessie Anne trailing after me and wondering why we were doing this. I had taken it to Tim's, but had left it in the cash box. I knew where the cash box was, but never did find the bin. That search will have to wait for another day.
Calculator in hand, I settled down to tally the milk and egg sales for the year. Piece of cake. Fifteen minutes.
In order to enter the farm expenses and income on already-prepared spreadsheets, I needed the check register for 2014. I keep all check registers in one drawer for easy retrieval. I have registers well past 1999 (Steve's theories rubbed off). Where is the register for 2014? Not in the drawer, not by the computer, not in my purse. I didn't know why I might have put it in my purse, but I looked anyhow. Bessie Anne finally gave up following me from room to room, up and down the halls, back and forth throughout the house, and lay down to wait for the madness to pass. I'd used that register not too long ago and knew I'd placed where it could be easily located, but where? Truly, it takes more time finding stuff than it does to fill out the forms. Did I find the register? Of course I did. It was right there in plain sight, or would have been had I not put something on top of it. Here's where Twilight Zone really sets in. Between the time I left the dining room where I'd found it and the bedroom where the computer is, that register disappeared. As I do every year, I screamed, "I just had it in my hand! How could I lose it in those few feet?!" Bessie was no help at all and the cats had run for cover. Tracing and retracing my moves, I finally discovered that for whatever reason I'd put the damn thing in my pocket. Shaking and shaken, I sat down to do data entry. Partially completed and beginning to calm down, I glanced out the window and saw that it was nearly dark. Crum!
Bess wasn't sure if I were going out to put the kids to bed or on another quest and if she should follow or not. We walked out together at last to do the familiar chores of evening. I left everything in the house behind. If I can find anything again, I'll take up the burden today. Or not.