Kindness

It's hard to write this morning, hard to find the words.  I've been surrounded by kindness from family, friends, and strangers, those who knew Bessie Anne and those who never met her.  She and I spent a quiet morning together, me telling her how much she was loved and her telling me it was time.  When Clay came, she looked up at him and thumped her tail.  Bessie has always had an eye for the boys.  I would never have made it without Clay yesterday.  Unless it was a trip to the "cookie store," Bess never liked riding in a car.  Clay drove so I could hold my girl and it was a good thing because she panicked and struggled for most of the trip to town, then became calm, as if she knew.

They were ready for us at the vet's office so there was no waiting.  The staff were exceptionally kind and gentle.  The procedure was so very quick.  Bessie was there, and then she was not.  Clay had all the hard parts.  For a small dog, Bessie Anne was heavy and he had to carry her back to the car.  Back at home, he put her in the prepared grave with love and respect.  I couldn't have borne it without him.

For the first time in nearly fifteen years, I slept alone last night, no snoring from the pillow next to my head.  I don't much care for that word "alone."  Thank God for Ralph and Celeste.  Thank God for my family and friends.  Thank God for Clay getting us through the day yesterday.  Thank God for the years I had with Bessie Anne and all the good memories.